A job in Mumbai

Seeking Sharp & Eager Sales Team (Mumbai)

Hello,

Our company, ********, is looking for sharp individuals to help market our services to potential clients / real estate investors in the United States. We are located in California.

Compensation: 20% commissions ($500 per signed contract) in addition to re-imbursement of telephone charges. compensation is made bi-weekly.

Requirements: Candidates must have an excellent command of English (with Neutralized accent) and min 3 years sales experience.

Our company provides training, script, client database and more!!

For more information about our company and position, please go to: ******

We welcome call center and marketing companies who want to offer services.

Interested parties should submitt resume and information to Raouf.

From:	patti
Sent:	Sunday, 18 October 2009 8:56:45 AM
To:	Raouf

Hello,

I am writing in regards to the fantastic Tele-Sales Team Job based in Mumbai.

I am a 23 year old Indian Male with a very strong, indecipherable accent. I am interested in pretending that I am working out of California when in actual fact I am sitting in a call center in Mumbai with no air conditioning and very little pay.

I have a keen interest in harassing the fuck out of people and trying to sell shit nobody wants. I like to be given people's phone numbers who have no idea that I have them and call them 3 times a day regardless of how much they yell at me and call me Fucking Curry Face. I enjoy learning the very well written and convincing scripts and pretending that I am just making it up as I go along.

I would very much like to work for your company as I hope it will bring me one step closer to my dream of moving to the United States of America and running my own 7/11.

I think I am the right candidate for this job and you should choose me. If you don't I will call you 3 times a day until you give it to me.

Thank you and I look forward to hearing from you.

Best wishes,

Patti Rahmandadran Hicks

From:	Raouf
Sent:	Monday, 19 October 2009 5:52:56 AM
To:	patti

Hello Patti,

Thank you for your response. First of all, I want you to know that "Patti" is usually a female name.

And, yes, we are looking to recruit ten Tele-sales agents from Mumbai. As I mentioned in my ad, the commission is very good!!

$500 / account.

I am surprised that your response is the first one?

However, from your response, I get the sense that you are agressive and a little bit "angry". And, that might not be good with the type of clients that we are seeking. We are not targeting consumers to sell them a product!

Please review our website again to understand our company's services. Our clients are real estate investors and investor groups.

I look forward to your response.

Thank you,

Raouf

From:	patti
Sent:	Monday, 19 October 2009 6:58:30 AM
To:	Raouf

Hi there Raouf,

Firstly I would like to thank you for your quick response, particularly on a Sunday. You must be very dedicated to your job!

Secondly, Patti is in fact a unisex name and I assure you I am very male. I know a woman called George and several males and females called Lesley, Shannon, Mel and Paxton; so we shouldn't go making assumptions about people's gender. I couldn't guess as to whether you are male or female from your name but what I could say about it is that there are a lot of vowels.

I am sorry if I came across as aggressive. I assure you I am an amiable, even-tempered male who merely wants a job in Mumbai but pretends they are in California.

I see you mentioned that you are not targeting clients to sell them a product. I apologize for that assumption, I guess the job description of 'sales team' threw me a little. I just figured that if you work in sales then you must be selling something, but much like your Patti assumption, I was wrong. I now understand that you work with real estate investors and investor groups. Cool.

Anyway, I'm still interested in the job and I assure you that I do have a very strong Indian accent.

I look forward to hearing from you!

Yours sincerely,

Mr Patti Rahmandadran Hicks.

P.S Have you seen 'Capiltalism'? What did you think?

From:	Raouf
Sent:	Monday, 19 October 2009 11:10:07 AM
To:	patti

Hello Patti,

I like your attitude. Therefore, I will do this:

1. Ask you to completely read the contents of our website: *****. Afterwards, we can discuss the details of the job such as leads, script, how you will be paid (20% commission on each contract), etc.

I don't expect that training will take more than a few days with you. I have attached two documents that I would like for you to read in addition to our website info.

Once completed, please respond with any and all questions you may have on our company and its services.

2. After a phone interview we can begin working together (of course, I would send you a contract as the basis of our work).

3. I am interested in establishing a team of 10 from Mumbai. Therefore, I would offer you the lead position (this means find, hire, train, coordinate and manage other qualified individuals that can perform this job). I would pay you an "over-ride" of $25 / contract solicited and executed by any other member of the team.

Patti, as a matter of policy, we would not want you or any other member to "pretend" to be from California. We will instruct you on how to answer such questions.

One final note: I am not sure what kind of telecommunications access you have in order to make calls to the US? This part of logistics is not part of our plan. Let me know.

Thanks

Raouf

P.S.: No, I haven't seen the movie yet. I look foward to it. Can you please send me your telephone number?

From:	patti
Sent:	Tuesday, 20 October 2009 3:40:17 AM
To:	Raouf

Dear Sir,

Many thanks for your confidence. I will walk to the nearest village to print it out as soon as I can.

I assure you that I am very good with scripts. I was an extra in the film 'Slumdog Millionaire' which I hear was a big hit over there. Next time you watch it look out for the guy with the green shirt in the scene where they run through all the slums because that is me!

The pay sounds very reasonable and I feel I could take on this responsibility.

Actually at the moment I am using a friend's phone as mine was destroyed in the typhoon but I will be replacing it very soon Mr Raouf I assure you. I will try and do so today. As you can imagine it is very hot here so I avoid walking too far when I can. Luckily my neighbor often lets me go with him on his elephant Raja who is a very diligent worker. I think you would like him.

I will send you my number and look over the forms as quickly as I can and I am looking forward to assembling a team of 10 people. It should not be a problem as we have quite a large population.

Also I promise to not pretend I am in California or Ohio or Kansas. I will wait for your instructions as to where to pretend to be.

Many thanks Mr Raouf, I shall go now and see if Raja is available and will contact you very soon.

Best wishes,

Patti Rahmandadran Hicks

P.S Movie is very good but not as good as 'Cloudy with a chance of Meatballs' which I saw over the weekend. Very funny and moving film.